Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
