after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I love having hate sex.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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