Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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