id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
