so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
