i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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