Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
