So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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