woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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