I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
