As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
