Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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