no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
