i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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