She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
