Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
