And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
