Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
