i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I woke up under a house in Key West
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