so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
