I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
