You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
