If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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