he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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