is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
