my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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