The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
