Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
