Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
