they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think I sprained my soul last night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
