I feel great
I just peed on a car
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
