All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
