I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
