just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
