We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
