so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize