how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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