yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
