Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize