Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
