he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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