I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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