Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
