I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize