How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
