that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize