I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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