but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
