Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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