You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
