don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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