I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
