I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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