We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
