Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
