Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
