She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
