Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
