I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize