I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
