Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
