Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
