i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
