you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
