someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
